More than half of the world’s population speaks a second language besides their mother tongue. Not bad! With mixed feelings I think back to the days of vocabulary cards and grammar tests at school… But still, it was definitely worth the trouble! Languages enable us to communicate, form connections, build relationships, exchange thoughts, express opinions, build plans, be creative, live, love! The more languages you master, the bigger life becomes.
Besides English, Spanish, French and roughly 6500 other languages that are spoken on planet Earth today, there are five especially important ones: The languages of love ♥. You want a happy and fulfilling relationship with your partner, spouse, kids, parents,…? Learn to speak Love! I know, it does sound a little bit cheesy, but hear me out.
According to Gary Chapman, anthropologist and doctor of philosophy, there are five different languages that people use to express and receive love: quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Let me give you a few examples of each language.
If your beloved speaks the love language of…
…Quality time: Have lots of one-on-one time, where you can engage in meaningful conversations without interruptions or distractions. It doesn’t always need to be a date in a fancy restaurant – a walk in the park or a dinner with the TV off can also be real quality time together.
…Words of affirmation: You should listen actively to your loved one, give encouraging feedback and show your appreciation with kind words. You can communicate your message personally, over the phone, or written in a note, text, or plane message in the sky. Up to you – but do make sure the message gets delivered!
…Receiving gifts: You better get creative when it comes to special occasions! Make your loved one a priority and show it with well thought-out gifts and gestures. No, a department store voucher is not an option! Also be sure to express gratitude when you are on the receiving end.
…Acts of service: Show that you are here to help – be it with small household duties, or bigger acts of kindness that serve your partner. Making breakfast or emptying the dishwasher (without being explicitly asked) can get you a long way!
…Physical touch: Get close! Your loved one needs body language and touch to show them that you care. You know what to do…
We can probably all relate to these five languages, after all they are all beautiful expressions of love. However, if you would rank them by importance, what would come first for you? What would come last? And what about your partner – what language is the primary one for him/ her? Do you know??
Things can get tricky when you and your partner speak completely different love languages. Say, your primary language is physical touch, but you have a long distance relationship with your partner? Or if you expect your partner to help you when you struggle, but what you receive is pretty jewellery? Or if you think you’re showing your love by writing a sweet text message, but what your partner needed much more was a 10 minute-hug?
So, ask yourself again: Are you and your partner using a common language in love? And if you feel like you are not on the same page every now and then, could it be because you are lost in translation?
PS: Click here to do a free online test to find out your personal ranking of the 5 love languages: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/