The world is neutral. Anything and everything that happens is neutral in itself, in the very big picture. What makes it ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is simply how we choose to interpret it in our mind.
Do you know this situation: Something doesn’t go well, maybe you receive a piece of bad news, and all of a sudden your whole life looks just awful? You find yourself in a downward spiral and the longer you think, the darker it gets? Like the opposite of wearing rose-coloured glasses, yours are coloured grey and they are broken, scratched and make everything look ugly.
Why is it so easy to fall into such “bad-mood-all-is-shit” pits? It’s all in our mind. We start thinking negatively and develop strong feelings in the process, which in return lead to even more negative thoughts. Maybe we even start acting out of this negativity which, I speak from experience, obviously does not go down well, and we create even more bad thoughts and emotions as a result. And here we are in a big mess. It’s way too easy! Getting out is the hard part.
Good news is your thoughts can work in the opposite direction, too. If you think you cannot control your thoughts, think again! Reading is one simple example. Fully immersed in a good book you think about the story, the characters, you even start feeling it. Same thing happens during listening, watching, writing, and so on. You are doing it all the time, however, unfortunately it’s often the negative stuff that we occupy our minds with: worrying news, stories of drama and betrayal, and all the things that don’t work and are not right.
The simple trick is to deliberately expose yourself to uplifting, motivating, positive content for your mind to soak up. But what – apart from exchanging your love of horror movies for romantic comedies – what can you do to make your mind work in your favour? Here is a quick 3-step guide:
1. Become aware of your thoughts
Before being able to control your thinking, you need to become aware of your thinking. Too often we are so immersed in our thoughts that we don’t even realise we are putting ourselves down. When you feel negative emotions, stop and ask yourself: Why am I feeling like that? What are my thoughts right now? Are these thoughts even rational? Meditation is a great practice to learn to think more consciously.
2. Influence your thoughts
There are thousands of ways to consciously influence your thoughts to the better. Talk to a supportive and kind person in your life. Listen to a motivational podcast or your favourite music. Go for a walk outside. Do sports to switch of your thinking and come into flow. Or work with affirmations – those magic sentences with the power to encourage and uplift you. Make sure you create your affirmations in the present tense, with positive words and as if you already have what you desire. For example: “I am grateful for the abundance of love in my life”. Then, repeat, repeat, repeat! Self-brainwashing, as I like to call it 🙂
3. Feel it, act it, live it!
This step is easy, because it will happen automatically. Once your thoughts are positive, the rest will follow: You will feel better, emotionally and physically. You’ll be happier and more energized to do stuff. Since you expect good outcomes of your actions, you are more confident and therefore likely to be more successful. Enjoy this mind-set!
Of course, nothing lasts forever… But next time drama hits you, you know what to do!