Change the pattern!

  • Post author:
  • Post category:She Can
  • Post comments:0 Comments
  • Reading time:4 mins read
change the pattern

I was always ok with self-isolation so, what is going on in the world right now, it’s not a big change to the way I am. I like to be just by myself. I find I’m very entertaining.

What is affecting me is the fact that now I am 24/7 with my family and I miss my me time. We are tree of us, I love one and I tolerate the other, but that’s a story for another time.

I just found out that I’m due to restart work in a few weeks’ time and this was good news for me, I was actually happy for a second.

Then I realised I’m going back in the ‘’men’s  world’’ and again, I need to work harder than any man I know so that I can be appreciated for my work and progress in the career that, more or less, was my choice (and that’s another story for another time).

I have been thinking about this for a while and I believe it all started with a fuck given. Literally.

Somewhere down the line, a few thousands years ago there was a woman, one of us, who felt the need to mate with the alpha male in the tribe. The only way she thought it’s possible was by playing dumb, helpless and powerless for him to notice and pick her.

Her friend or neighbour saw that and did the same. And the next one, and the next one, until it was a tradition, a must, a thing that the mothers were teaching the daughters as the way of living for women in this world.

I’m not saying there wasn’t one in that tribe who saw the man and decided SHE was going to get him, but I’m pretty sure it was just one and it was a tough life for her. And probably all the other women thought it’s too much trouble to have this approach and it was easier to play dumb.

The years went by and some of us still play the dumb card. I’m seeing it every day.

Wherever I go there is still one that cannot turn on the light, that cannot open a jar, that cannot put gas in the car and so on… and men expect that, because this pattern is stuck in their heads by now.

They feel the need to save us even when we don’t need or want to (my husband included) because after all these years, there still exists an unwritten law that says, as a woman, I am weak and I need help.


You cannot see it explicitly, but you can feel the collective behaviour based on tradition, which is nearly impossible to change. But the one thing I’ve learned over the years is that, as difficult it may be to change or erase this unwritten pattern, it can be done.

I’ll do my part and I’ll keep fighting this invisible fight whilst teaching my daughter to do the same by:

–        Staying faithful to her truth

–        Following her aspirations

–        Fight prejudice through kindness

–        Making her own choices

–        And last but not least, by being a good example for her




So, there you go, my theory about how someone, somewhere down the line messed up my career life and made me work harder than men for the same status because she needed a fuck… and I really hope it was a good one!


Share this post

Leave a Reply